The Monkey Box

I'll get killed for this...

.... mwahahaha.

clipped from www.remoteplanet.ca

BEST. TOOL. EVAR

Ok, maybe not, but it is indeed good. As I share my internets with a FON router, understandably I like the concept of being able to monitor what the hell goes on and if needed put the brakes on something if needed. But I also do like the protection of the anti-phishing stuff they've got going. So give it a shot!

clipped from www.opendns.com What is OpenDNS? OpenDNS helps you navigate the Internet in a safer, faster, smarter and more reliable way. Our service is free and requires nothing to download. OpenDNS doesn't replace your existing Internet connection, it just makes it better. Manage a network? Find out how OpenDNS can help you and your users.

Huzzah!

Dear Kevin,

Thank you for your email.

This is to inform you that we have marked the discs as lost in post and further we would like to advise you that as part of the procedure for claiming for compensation with Royal Mail for the title lost on its way back to us, we will send a V91 claim form to you with in 28 days from the day the title is reported as “lost in post”. You are requested to fill in the postal details of the title and return the form back to us with in the due date mentioned on the form. Please do note that if we should not receive the V91 form from you, we will apply a charge of £10.00 towards the cost of the lost title to your account.

Should you have any more questions, please do let us know and we will be happy to assist you further.  

Please let us know if this answered your question.
If yes, click here:

If no, click here:

Kind regards,

Laxman
--
Customer Services
LOVEFiLM.com
The new way to rent DVDs
www.LOVEFiLM.com

Arson

Hello, I've a rather unique situation.  I've posted back my DVDs on saturday afternoon so they would have (or still could be) on their way back on Tuesday's collection.

However, some rather nice individual has decided to set fire to a bin and potentially the postbox I've put my DVDs in to.  The fire brigade and police attended last night (it's right on my road) and obviously the post office will open up the box to investigate (see photos: http://kevin.sdf-eu.org/postbox.html) at some point.

My question is where does this leave me if the contents have been arsoned?  Will I be liable for it?

Please let me know and I'll also contact the post office on tuesday to find out what they know as they may have just set fire to the bin.

Regards,
Kevin

Fuck.

I've now got to email LoveFilm to notify them of the following issue with my DVDs, please take note of the final picture to fully understand what I have to explain to them.

I vant you see, lasha tumbai, I vant you see, lasha tumabai

I had a proper bag of shit day today, it was a combination of time mis-management on my part, although not an entirely big contribution but it didn't help in the slightest, office pettyness and an absolute fuckwit.

I'll skip all the borning bits because I know you bitches want to know the good stuff.  Today, I had my arch-nemesis on the phone, he is uncommon sense personified.  Obvious answers are retorted with stupid reasonings, basic logic rays are shielded by the shroud of the twisted fact and when told "at this stage there is no more that can be done" it's returned as "OH YES I CAN MAGIC RANDOM ITEMS FROM MY ASS, REACH ON IN".

The debate in it's vagueness is as follows:

man has car, car is petrol, man has fuel card, fuel card can only buy diesel.  Car is temporary, car is running out of petrol, man won't buy petrol because fuel card won't buy it.  Man told to use the universial cash system, man not impressed, man won't do.  Man advised to keep receipts and claim back.  Man won't do.  Man demands we find diesel car.  Diesel car not available and has to be sourced from another area could take three days.  Man advised, man not happy.

Man suggests we replace car of little fuel for another one with a full tank, operators laugh, answer still no.  Man thinks I am being unreasonable.  I get man off phone before I cut my wrists.

I call managers, I discuss, I call man's fleet contact, halarious recorded conversation follows, I get another contact who can actually push his weight around, contact not so interested, but filling up cars is man's responsability (duh).  Conversation terminated.

I hit a brick wall, I call my high manager, she calls him, halarity ensues, man still not budging.  And the loop begins again.

In the end as you'd expect from any customer facing business we gave in, made alternative arrangements and busted our asses and the logic that is the fabric of our universe to bits only to find the man has just filled up the car with petrol.  And this is exactly why I shall be leading the robot armies to victory, because I'm not staying on the fleshy human side if this is the kind of crap I have to look forward to once the NuGeneration grow up to a society who believes in such crap as "defered success", then we're all pretty much fucked in the grand scheme of things.

It's South Park but real.

It's nice to see that when in doubt, blame the devil. Because why else would somebody put a baby in a microwave, after all it's different when they're your own!

clipped from slothel.livejournal.com GALVESTON, Texas (AP) -- A woman blames the devil, and not her husband, for severely burning their infant daughter in a microwave, a Texas television station reported. Eva Marie Mauldin said Satan compelled her 19-year-old husband, Joshua Royce Mauldin, to microwave their daughter May 10 because the devil disapproved of Joshua's efforts to become a preacher. "Satan saw my husband as a threat," Eva Mauldin told Houston television station KHOU-TV. A grand jury indicted Joshua Mauldin last week on child injury charges after hearing evidence that he placed the two-month-old in a motel microwave for 10 to 20 seconds. (Watch cops react to burned baby ) The infant, Ana Marie, remains hospitalized. She suffered burns on the left side of her face and to her left hand, police said. Police said Joshua Mauldin told them he put Ana Marie in the microwave because he was under stress. Eva Maudlin denied it. "He would never do anything to hurt her. He loves her," she said.

Heros finale?

Maybe I should watch this programme more often, if man sex goings on then I'm so there.

clipped from madsquirrel.livejournal.com

JESUS CHRIST ALMIGHTY

£13.50 A WEEK! WTF!?!

This is what I get for clicking on ringtone advertisements.

clipped from uk.celldorado.com Radar is a screensaver subscription service. *Bonus silent ringtone is for free. Bonus silent ringtone will be sent the first week of subscription. This service will cost £13.50 per week until you send STOP to 80122. Start up: a sign-up fee of £3.00 shall apply. Sent text charged at standard operator fees. Min. age 16+ with bill payers permission. Celldorado operates according to the ICSTIS Code of Practice and the UK code of practice for the self-regulation of new forms of content on mobiles. Celldorado offers innovative information and entertainment for your mobile, such as ringtones, Javagames and wallpapers. Celldorado offers original, unique services with the highest standards. Helpdesk: 0845 358 8000.

Why do straights hate gays?

I've been semi-reading this, so I'm posting it before I forget to read the blimmin thing.

clipped from www.latimes.com Why do straights hate gays? An 72-year-old gay activist isn't hopeful about the future. DEAR STRAIGHT PEOPLE, Why do you hate gay people so much? Gays are hated. Prove me wrong. Your top general just called us immoral. Marine Gen. Peter Pace, chairman of the Joint Chiefs, is in charge of an estimated 65,000 gay and lesbian troops, some fighting for our country in Iraq. A right-wing political commentator, Ann Coulter, gets away with calling a straight presidential candidate a faggot. Even Garrison Keillor, of all people, is making really tacky jokes about gay parents in his column. This, I guess, does not qualify as hate except that it is so distasteful and dumb, often a first step on the way to hate. Sens. Hillary Rodham Clinton and Barack Obama tried to duck the questions that Pace's bigotry raised, confirming what gay people know: that there is not one candidate running for public office anywhere who dares to come right out, unequivocally, and say decent, supportive things about us.